I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
