wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
