chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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