The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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