At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
