Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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