After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
