She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
last night I used snow as a chaser
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
