ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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