they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
