her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
