I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
