I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
