no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
