At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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