I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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