new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
