it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
