Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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