ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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