Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
