So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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