The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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