handjob tips. give me some.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
