Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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