You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
