I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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