So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
