Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
