At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
