I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It's just like the Real World with babies
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Randomize
