my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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