i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
