hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
