sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
