I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
