I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Your dad touched me again.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
