pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
being pregnant is like rehab
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
