I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
