and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
