so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
