it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
