I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
