Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
