we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
