So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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