I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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