btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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