I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Randomize
