I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
